wrote this on the train ride home about a week ago on my phone. no better time to post than now, i guess.
December. The holiday season usually brings lots of joy to everyone. For most, it is a time for giving and thanks and for Christians, it's that and so much more. It signifies the birth of our Savior, so many years ago.
Spirits are extremely high at this time of year, but these times can also bring bouts of sadness and loneliness. For those who are celebrating without the loved ones they are used to seeing, for the single/unmarried who want someone to share this joyous time with. Even those who are constantly surrounded with loved ones can feel a sense of loneliness at this time of year.
Unfortunately, I'm no exception to the case. I've fought my fair share of loneliness and empty feelings. However, being a child of God, I know that this is a temporary feeling. When I snap back to reality and remember that God can fill my life better than anyone or anything, that feeling goes away and I am filled once again. It's a sad realization that many of our closest friends and family do not share this same revelation. Instead, their bout with emptiness and loneliness tends to linger. And this is partly our fault. Isn't it our job as His children to spread His word so that He may in turn fill the empty voids that many people try to fill with people and wordly things?
Do yourself a favor and share the Gospel with a loved one this holiday season. It's a secret that's not meant to be kept - by all means, go share it with as many as you can :)
On a different note, I've been noticing more and more recently that I have been so blessed. I am completely undeserving of the friendships and relationships that I am so lucky to have. More importantly, I am completely undeserving of God's love, and yet He loves me anyway. And
this is despite my flaws and mistakes.
We're all really blessed, in many different ways. Take the time to go and bless others :)
Happy holidays ! =D
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
crackberry
oh man.
i didn't realize how much i relied on google applications until i got a blackberry.
goodness.
it's addicting.
...sigh.
i didn't realize how much i relied on google applications until i got a blackberry.
goodness.
it's addicting.
...sigh.
Monday, November 17, 2008
i can teach now!!
just found out i passed my 2 certification exams for teaching - the LAST and the multi-subject CST.
beware - hopefully coming soon to a school near you :)
who would've thought (thunk?) i'd really become a teacher...
=P
beware - hopefully coming soon to a school near you :)
who would've thought (thunk?) i'd really become a teacher...
=P
Thursday, October 30, 2008
nothing new
i lack passion.
no favorite things, such as movies, songs, books, artists.
didn't think much of this til recently, now it won't stop bothering me..
how does one find something to be passionate about?
no favorite things, such as movies, songs, books, artists.
didn't think much of this til recently, now it won't stop bothering me..
how does one find something to be passionate about?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
big/little sib love
an excerpt of parts of a conversation with my little sib.
Jenn: YOU are not normal..."i havent drank in 2 whole weeks"
Jenn: i think you...you're awesome!...but you're fun to make fun of...hahaha
Jenn: haha...i know im getting WAY ahead of myself...but i cant wait to go to your wedding...=D
Jenn: nothing...i think you should just run around naked
Jenn: YOU are not normal..."i havent drank in 2 whole weeks"
Jenn: i think you...you're awesome!...but you're fun to make fun of...hahaha
Jenn: haha...i know im getting WAY ahead of myself...but i cant wait to go to your wedding...=D
Karen: what should i wear tomorrow
Sunday, October 19, 2008
good times
had three good conversations with three good friends today.
times like these should stay this way...not forever..but til the next good thing comes along :)
times like these should stay this way...not forever..but til the next good thing comes along :)
Sunday, October 12, 2008
it's october
whenever i take the subway, walk around the city, or anything where i have excess time to think, i start writing in my head. in a way, i feel like carrie from sex in the city. the writings in my head are similar to her style of writing. not the same topics though...i don't usually think/write about relationships or sex. instead, more everyday things.
what makes me mad though, is that i'm usually not near a computer, and i don't have pen and paper to jot down all my thoughts. by the time i get home, i forget about what i wanna write.
makes me want to get a phone where i can type up all this stuff as soon as i think of it. maybe i'll be a writer, hah :P
what makes me mad though, is that i'm usually not near a computer, and i don't have pen and paper to jot down all my thoughts. by the time i get home, i forget about what i wanna write.
makes me want to get a phone where i can type up all this stuff as soon as i think of it. maybe i'll be a writer, hah :P
Thursday, September 18, 2008
life as a first grader....then and now
17 years ago, in september 1991 (god i'm old), i was starting the 1st grade at ps104 in brooklyn. i was the skinny, dorky asian girl who didn't know english very well, but still managed to kick my classmates' butts in all subjects at school. everyday, i remember going to school with a 20-pound backpack (i was probably like 30, 40 pounds at most), with all my notebooks (one for each subject), folders, pens, pencils, all that junk. i always had so much work to do, even in first grade! reading, writing journal entries, math problems, math workbooks (CIMS, anyone?). there was this prize thing, where students who did well in academics earned star stickers and whoever had a lot at the end of a certain amount of time got prizes. a good way to earn stickers would be to finish work as quick as you can (and accurate), and i pretty much monopolized that (dang, didn't realize i was so competitive even as a 5-year-old.). anyway, the point was, there was a lot of work to do.
now i'm a teaching assistant in a 1st grade ctt (cooperative team teaching) class, which consists of 60% general ed students and 40% "special ed" students. all students in all 1st grade classes learn things the same way, ctt classrooms are no different except that there are 2 teachers (a gen ed and a special ed teacher). anyway, i've been there for a week now, and i've come to realize that students are taught in SUCH different ways now. for one thing, they don't even have notebooks!!! each student has a clipboard and a mini dry erase writing tablet, but even that hardly gets used! they all have tables and chairs, but they're not sitting there much, only for 20 minutes of reading, 20 minutes of writing, and 15 minutes of snack each day. the rest of the time, they sit on this big rug in the middle of the room and talk and "learn." they never get homework, they barely do work all day, but they are learning. it's so interesting how teaching styles have done a complete 180 and is now so much different than it used to be.
it's so interesting...i wish my peers can sit in the class and see how learning is now, and how different it is from the way that we grew up.
on a slightly different note, i have 4 vivid memories of 1st grade:
1) talking about the elections, and really wanting to vote for bill clinton (lol) - it was such a big thing for 1st graders. funny though...i'm a democrat, but i feel like we were brainwashed to be...
2) knowing our addresses and phone numbers were real important, so our teacher gave us stickers for know what they were. i had known both since i was 4, but my 5-year-old self was kinda embarrassed by my street name. all my classmates' streets were a (#) street, or (#) avenue, but mine was parrott place. i didn't like to be different, so i pretended i didn't know what my address was. and then my teacher drew a big parrot on the board for me to refresh my memory. now that i think about it, it was so sweet of her to do that for me!
3) going to the mcdonald's in manhattan mall (which closed recently), and thinking that i was awesome cos it was definitely the coolest mcdonald's. if you've been there before, you know what i mean - retro-looking and stuff.
4) getting a big cut on my forehead and getting left with the scar that is still above my right eyebrow.
weird, i know.
but 5-year-olds are pretty weird.
and i guess you can say my 22-year-old self is just as weird, if not more.
:)
now i'm a teaching assistant in a 1st grade ctt (cooperative team teaching) class, which consists of 60% general ed students and 40% "special ed" students. all students in all 1st grade classes learn things the same way, ctt classrooms are no different except that there are 2 teachers (a gen ed and a special ed teacher). anyway, i've been there for a week now, and i've come to realize that students are taught in SUCH different ways now. for one thing, they don't even have notebooks!!! each student has a clipboard and a mini dry erase writing tablet, but even that hardly gets used! they all have tables and chairs, but they're not sitting there much, only for 20 minutes of reading, 20 minutes of writing, and 15 minutes of snack each day. the rest of the time, they sit on this big rug in the middle of the room and talk and "learn." they never get homework, they barely do work all day, but they are learning. it's so interesting how teaching styles have done a complete 180 and is now so much different than it used to be.
it's so interesting...i wish my peers can sit in the class and see how learning is now, and how different it is from the way that we grew up.
on a slightly different note, i have 4 vivid memories of 1st grade:
1) talking about the elections, and really wanting to vote for bill clinton (lol) - it was such a big thing for 1st graders. funny though...i'm a democrat, but i feel like we were brainwashed to be...
2) knowing our addresses and phone numbers were real important, so our teacher gave us stickers for know what they were. i had known both since i was 4, but my 5-year-old self was kinda embarrassed by my street name. all my classmates' streets were a (#) street, or (#) avenue, but mine was parrott place. i didn't like to be different, so i pretended i didn't know what my address was. and then my teacher drew a big parrot on the board for me to refresh my memory. now that i think about it, it was so sweet of her to do that for me!
3) going to the mcdonald's in manhattan mall (which closed recently), and thinking that i was awesome cos it was definitely the coolest mcdonald's. if you've been there before, you know what i mean - retro-looking and stuff.
4) getting a big cut on my forehead and getting left with the scar that is still above my right eyebrow.
weird, i know.
but 5-year-olds are pretty weird.
and i guess you can say my 22-year-old self is just as weird, if not more.
:)
Thursday, September 11, 2008
new beginnings
so at the end of last week, i found out that teaching fellows (which was supposed to start in november) will not be starting now until late june. it screwed up a lot of my plans, including HAVING A JOB and adequate health insurance. thankfully, God is gracious and has provided me with 2 jobs in the meantime. starting tomorrow, i'm gonna be working as a teacher's assistant with josh and elaine at their school, and then going down to after-school program when school is over.
i'm really so excited to be a teacher's assistant. it definitely doesn't pay nearly as well as teaching fellows would have, but i'm glad to be getting the experience that a lot of people don't normally get. i was placed in a first grade ctt (cooperative team teaching) class, which is 60% gen. ed kids and 40% special ed kids. it's the new, modern form of special ed classes. the kids are adorable - ALL of them. it's so ridiculous how cute they are, haha. so while i'm nervous that i'm gonna screw up and horribly influence these kids' lives some way, i'm beyond excited to finally be in a classroom!!! AHHH!
anyone know of more part-time jobs? i really need to start saving money and not spending so much. this weekend, i was driving home from bing and i got a flat tire :( that cost a good $200 to get a new tire, so even less money than before -_-
eh, whatevs, God's been so awesome - just waiting to see what else He has up His sleeve for me :D
i'm really so excited to be a teacher's assistant. it definitely doesn't pay nearly as well as teaching fellows would have, but i'm glad to be getting the experience that a lot of people don't normally get. i was placed in a first grade ctt (cooperative team teaching) class, which is 60% gen. ed kids and 40% special ed kids. it's the new, modern form of special ed classes. the kids are adorable - ALL of them. it's so ridiculous how cute they are, haha. so while i'm nervous that i'm gonna screw up and horribly influence these kids' lives some way, i'm beyond excited to finally be in a classroom!!! AHHH!
anyone know of more part-time jobs? i really need to start saving money and not spending so much. this weekend, i was driving home from bing and i got a flat tire :( that cost a good $200 to get a new tire, so even less money than before -_-
eh, whatevs, God's been so awesome - just waiting to see what else He has up His sleeve for me :D
Thursday, September 4, 2008
SO FRUSTRATING
I HATE ARROGANT, STUBBORN PEOPLE.
YOU CAN'T DO IT ALL ON YOUR OWN!
people really need to get off their high horse and humble their damn selves.
YOU CAN'T DO IT ALL ON YOUR OWN!
people really need to get off their high horse and humble their damn selves.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
for the first time in...20 years??
so most, if not all, of you know that i've now graduated from college and will not be going back to school. at least not in the fall...hopefully the spring. first time in 20 years...it's definitely the weirdest feeling in the world. people around me, left and right, are all preparing to go back. everyone's excited, there's lots of back-to-school shopping involved, and the new semester gives everyone a fresh start.
for the first time in 4 years, i'm not moving in to a dorm room. even weirder. instead, i'm currently "renovating" my room at home. moving back in after 4 years in college is gonna be an interesting ride...not sure how things are gonna be. but it's alright...i went to ikea today with the 'rents and we bought a bunch of stuff...hopefully i can get everything done in the next 2 weeks. i need to paint, clean everything (vacuum, wipe, dust, mop, the works), unpack all my stuff after 4 years (everything's in boxes or plastic drawers), and rearrange all the furniture + the new stuff i bought. then i need to decorate. yeesh, it's gonna be a rough 2 weeks. hope to get it done by...september 5th!
on another note, guess who the running roots champs are? yep...we won :) too bad this year we decided to play for a boston team (cornerstone church)...next year maybe we'll start a new york team with all-stars and give boston a run for their money :P
have fun with the start of the new semester, kiddies. be good, and study hard! everyone else, let's hang out :)
for the first time in 4 years, i'm not moving in to a dorm room. even weirder. instead, i'm currently "renovating" my room at home. moving back in after 4 years in college is gonna be an interesting ride...not sure how things are gonna be. but it's alright...i went to ikea today with the 'rents and we bought a bunch of stuff...hopefully i can get everything done in the next 2 weeks. i need to paint, clean everything (vacuum, wipe, dust, mop, the works), unpack all my stuff after 4 years (everything's in boxes or plastic drawers), and rearrange all the furniture + the new stuff i bought. then i need to decorate. yeesh, it's gonna be a rough 2 weeks. hope to get it done by...september 5th!
on another note, guess who the running roots champs are? yep...we won :) too bad this year we decided to play for a boston team (cornerstone church)...next year maybe we'll start a new york team with all-stars and give boston a run for their money :P
have fun with the start of the new semester, kiddies. be good, and study hard! everyone else, let's hang out :)
Monday, August 18, 2008
how to lose lots of money
i went to foxwoods on my way home from rhode island with my family tonight.
i sat with my grandma at the slot machines while she played, and since i was bored, i decided to put $10 in. that was the minimum.
i lost it all in 2 minutes. literally.
ugh..
i sat with my grandma at the slot machines while she played, and since i was bored, i decided to put $10 in. that was the minimum.
i lost it all in 2 minutes. literally.
ugh..
Saturday, August 16, 2008
bad dreams?
the last 2 or 3 times i've been home, i've been sleeping on my own bed with all the sheets on and everything. when i wake up in the morning, the sheets are all completely off my mattress and everything is all tangled. not sure why.
this morning, i woke up and the sheets were still on, so i proudly told my parents. this was their response:
me: my sheets are still on my bed!!!
dad: isn't that normal...?
me: yea, so what. i'm still proud.
mom: does that mean you didn't sleep??
only my parents. haha, funny to me, maybe not so much to you.
anyway, off to rhode island i go :)
this morning, i woke up and the sheets were still on, so i proudly told my parents. this was their response:
me: my sheets are still on my bed!!!
dad: isn't that normal...?
me: yea, so what. i'm still proud.
mom: does that mean you didn't sleep??
only my parents. haha, funny to me, maybe not so much to you.
anyway, off to rhode island i go :)
Monday, August 11, 2008
underwear on head + hail storm?!
i wore underwear on my head today to camp for a short period of time. real underwear. yes, i looked dumb. but why?
because i'm arrogant. haha. i went bowling with my campers and 3 other counselors on friday, and one of my counselors and i decided to bet against the two other counselors. whoever had the lowest combined score would have to wear underwear on their head for the morning until pool time. this meant in front of the kids. my team had one the first game (no bets made), so we figured we could just easily snatch the second game. our arrogance got to us and we ended up getting whooped. what hustlers. anyway, lesson learned. don't need to wear underwear anymore.
in other news, there was a freaking HAIL STORM today?? some time in the morning, what started as your normal summer thunderstorm quickly turned ugly and fierce. before we knew it, leaves were quickly blowing by and we could NOT see through the windows outside. i've never seen a storm as bad as this one, and i could understand why my campers were scared. (imagine being anxious and having to witness a crazy storm). anyway, one of the windows was open in one of the rooms, and one of the teachers managed to scoop a couple of pieces of hail (pretty big chunks of ice) in. it was crazy. when the storm finally let up, leaves were EVERYWHERE. yes, everywhere. and there was ice all over the floor!!! it looked like it was snowing. crazy...who knew that could happen in august??
gosh, interesting day of events today. and 6 more days of camp left. very sad...i feel like there's been a lot of "ends" to things in the last couple of months, and it's been tough to deal with. soon everyone is going to go back to school, but not me. for the first time since i was 2 or 3, i am not starting school in september. it's really a weird feeling -_-
eh. peace out, homefries. and stay dry :)
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
anxious waiting
it's been awhile since i've been able to just sit down and write. camp has really taken up a lot of my time, with long work days and having to do stuff outside of camp at times.
as of tonight, exactly 26 days of camp have passed. unfortunately, that means that there's only 14 days left!!! it's funny how when i think of it, 14 days is such a short time, whereas in the beginning of the summer, it felt like camp would never end. the camp itself is a tiring process. since the end of the 3rd week of camp, my throat has been sore and my voice has been hoarse, and there is no time to recover between being so busy and always having to speak at the top of my lungs.
in the last 26 days, i've realized that i've begun to treat each of my 12 campers as if they were my own kid. there is no better feeling than being able to celebrate with them, laugh, get upset, feel frustration together, and even be anxious and scared together. in essence, i really do feel like a mother, and for those of you who know me pretty well, you know that i've wanted to be a mother for the longest time. it's a weird kinda wanting, but i'm so anxious about it - really can't wait for it to happen (hence the title of this post). being with these 12 kids everyday, all of who need so much loving and support and encouragement constantly has turned me into a mother to all of them. the best feeling is definitely working on something with them, and seeing the progress they've made since the summer. their achievements and progess are enough to make any parent proud.
best story and one of the highlights of my summer: one of my campers was deathly afraid of putting his head into the water. he could tread pretty well, and he was able to do backstroke and sidestroke, but he wasn't able to ever put his head in the water because he was scared. we've been working on it since the first day at camp, and yesterday he put his head in the water for the first time!!! not only that, but he did a front float all on his own!! some of you may not think it's a big deal, but it was such an accomplishment for him, and all my counselors had such a good time celebrating the achievement with him.
so while this camp is tiring and stressful, and sometimes i feel like i want to strangle the kids, the truth is that in the end, it's just plain rewarding, and seeing smiles on these kids instantly puts a smile on my face. it's ironic...when friends first found out that i was doing this for the summer, many of them said to me "don't you need a lot of patience to work with these kids?" of course i took that to mean that they didn't think i had the patience for it (and i guess that's fair to say), but i still denied it and said that i was different with the kids and would be patient no matter what. now i've realized that i actually AM patient with them (for the most part), and even little things that used to annoy me are things that i just brush aside now.
funny how one summer can change you and your attitude. hah, i bet all of you are sick of me talking about camp, since that's all i do, but it's amazing!!!
on another note (and i'm totally changing the subject), i took a roadtrip to virginia this past weekend with some friends, and had a lot more fun that i had in a very long time. it was so nice just to be able to relax and not think about the future, school, work, etc. i feel like i haven't had one of those since the end of high school. i thought about it, and i realize that i definitely need to go on little vacations more often :)
end of randomness. sorry to make y'all read through that.
hah. good night.
as of tonight, exactly 26 days of camp have passed. unfortunately, that means that there's only 14 days left!!! it's funny how when i think of it, 14 days is such a short time, whereas in the beginning of the summer, it felt like camp would never end. the camp itself is a tiring process. since the end of the 3rd week of camp, my throat has been sore and my voice has been hoarse, and there is no time to recover between being so busy and always having to speak at the top of my lungs.
in the last 26 days, i've realized that i've begun to treat each of my 12 campers as if they were my own kid. there is no better feeling than being able to celebrate with them, laugh, get upset, feel frustration together, and even be anxious and scared together. in essence, i really do feel like a mother, and for those of you who know me pretty well, you know that i've wanted to be a mother for the longest time. it's a weird kinda wanting, but i'm so anxious about it - really can't wait for it to happen (hence the title of this post). being with these 12 kids everyday, all of who need so much loving and support and encouragement constantly has turned me into a mother to all of them. the best feeling is definitely working on something with them, and seeing the progress they've made since the summer. their achievements and progess are enough to make any parent proud.
best story and one of the highlights of my summer: one of my campers was deathly afraid of putting his head into the water. he could tread pretty well, and he was able to do backstroke and sidestroke, but he wasn't able to ever put his head in the water because he was scared. we've been working on it since the first day at camp, and yesterday he put his head in the water for the first time!!! not only that, but he did a front float all on his own!! some of you may not think it's a big deal, but it was such an accomplishment for him, and all my counselors had such a good time celebrating the achievement with him.
so while this camp is tiring and stressful, and sometimes i feel like i want to strangle the kids, the truth is that in the end, it's just plain rewarding, and seeing smiles on these kids instantly puts a smile on my face. it's ironic...when friends first found out that i was doing this for the summer, many of them said to me "don't you need a lot of patience to work with these kids?" of course i took that to mean that they didn't think i had the patience for it (and i guess that's fair to say), but i still denied it and said that i was different with the kids and would be patient no matter what. now i've realized that i actually AM patient with them (for the most part), and even little things that used to annoy me are things that i just brush aside now.
funny how one summer can change you and your attitude. hah, i bet all of you are sick of me talking about camp, since that's all i do, but it's amazing!!!
on another note (and i'm totally changing the subject), i took a roadtrip to virginia this past weekend with some friends, and had a lot more fun that i had in a very long time. it was so nice just to be able to relax and not think about the future, school, work, etc. i feel like i haven't had one of those since the end of high school. i thought about it, and i realize that i definitely need to go on little vacations more often :)
end of randomness. sorry to make y'all read through that.
hah. good night.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
swollen feet
i want a new tattoo. not really sure why, and i'm still deciding between a couple of things to get, but why not? after all, they're representative of different stages/seasons of my life. i know i want it to be on my back, right under my neck where the bone is. it'll probably hurt, but can't be too bad. we'll see. or maybe i'll just get another piercing. i've been itching to do something different these past couple of weeks, and i guess it came down to this :P
long weekends are nice. ugh. it feels so great not to have to wake up at 6am. i've been sleeping in til 11ish the last two days, which is so weird cos i never really have the chance to sleep in. too bad that monday comes so soon after the weekend, haha. but at least i'm lucky. while my job tires me out, i'm thankful that i enjoy it a lot. so much so that i wish someone would create a whole school-year long program just like this. it means so much to these kids that they feel special. these are the kids that are always in trouble, and have privileges taken away from them. at the camp, we make them put all that aside. they're never punished, except for the handful of timeouts, and everyone has a chance to get daily awards and to go on weekly field trips. it's pretty amazing to see the smiles on these kids faces, smiles that not many people get to see because they have such low self-esteem.
i feel like every time i write a new post, i start by writing about a random topic, but i always seem to go back to writing about the kids i work with. haha, obsessed much? whatever though, they're worth it. sometimes i feel like they're my own kids cos i'm with them so much :D
anyway, my right foot is currently very swollen due to multiple mosquito bites around my ankle. there are so many and they're so swollen that they actually HURT! ugh. i don't even know what to do to make it feel better.
enough of the randomness. church tomorrow and i can't exactly wake up at 11ish again.
til next time, have a good night :)
long weekends are nice. ugh. it feels so great not to have to wake up at 6am. i've been sleeping in til 11ish the last two days, which is so weird cos i never really have the chance to sleep in. too bad that monday comes so soon after the weekend, haha. but at least i'm lucky. while my job tires me out, i'm thankful that i enjoy it a lot. so much so that i wish someone would create a whole school-year long program just like this. it means so much to these kids that they feel special. these are the kids that are always in trouble, and have privileges taken away from them. at the camp, we make them put all that aside. they're never punished, except for the handful of timeouts, and everyone has a chance to get daily awards and to go on weekly field trips. it's pretty amazing to see the smiles on these kids faces, smiles that not many people get to see because they have such low self-esteem.
i feel like every time i write a new post, i start by writing about a random topic, but i always seem to go back to writing about the kids i work with. haha, obsessed much? whatever though, they're worth it. sometimes i feel like they're my own kids cos i'm with them so much :D
anyway, my right foot is currently very swollen due to multiple mosquito bites around my ankle. there are so many and they're so swollen that they actually HURT! ugh. i don't even know what to do to make it feel better.
enough of the randomness. church tomorrow and i can't exactly wake up at 11ish again.
til next time, have a good night :)
Monday, June 30, 2008
the new book smell.
when i was younger, i went to the brooklyn public library EVERY weekend. either saturday or sunday, you'd see little nerdy karen at the library borrowing 20 books at a time. yes, 20. and i would finish them all in a week and then go and borrow more. the thing i remember most about those times was when i found books that were pretty new. you know...books at the library are all kinda old, and lots of people have touched, read, and spilled stuff on them before. those rare occasions that you'd find a semi-new book were the magical ones. they smell different...it's a fresh smell, kinda like the smell of a new car.
anyway. i like the smell of new books. there's just something about them that makes me smile and think about my inner nerd. haha, so what's the point of this entry? I GOT A NEW BIBLE! heh, most people think it's not a big deal, but i think it is. i've been looking for a new one, with a different translation (non-NIV) for awhile, yet hadn't seemed to find the right one until now. i like it a lot, and now i can spend time with the big guy AND be happy with my new book.
hah. stupid, eh? heh...whatevs. i need to stop spending time blogging and more time sleeping. camp is great, i love my kids :D
OH! i got an interview to the teaching fellows thing. not sure how i feel about it though. it's a group interview and it'll actually take time to prepare for it. also, i need to take two certification tests by august 23rd! is it worth it? aug 23 is also running roots...so i guess we'll see :)
before i forget. some of you know how i'm horrible with cell phones and keeping them unscratched/unscathed. well, today i was putting something in the trunk of my friend's car. it's an suv, so they have that little ledge, and i put my tiny little cell phone there. then i took my water bottle out of my bag and proceeded to close the trunk. i got into the car, then realized i forgot my phone in the trunk. however, i then realized that it wasn't in the trunk. i had unfortunately slammed the trunk door onto the phone, pinning it between the trunk and the ledge. ugh. now it's dented on one side, and i have a couple of the big buttons cracked. great. sigh. i want the new iphone!!!
anyway. i like the smell of new books. there's just something about them that makes me smile and think about my inner nerd. haha, so what's the point of this entry? I GOT A NEW BIBLE! heh, most people think it's not a big deal, but i think it is. i've been looking for a new one, with a different translation (non-NIV) for awhile, yet hadn't seemed to find the right one until now. i like it a lot, and now i can spend time with the big guy AND be happy with my new book.
hah. stupid, eh? heh...whatevs. i need to stop spending time blogging and more time sleeping. camp is great, i love my kids :D
OH! i got an interview to the teaching fellows thing. not sure how i feel about it though. it's a group interview and it'll actually take time to prepare for it. also, i need to take two certification tests by august 23rd! is it worth it? aug 23 is also running roots...so i guess we'll see :)
before i forget. some of you know how i'm horrible with cell phones and keeping them unscratched/unscathed. well, today i was putting something in the trunk of my friend's car. it's an suv, so they have that little ledge, and i put my tiny little cell phone there. then i took my water bottle out of my bag and proceeded to close the trunk. i got into the car, then realized i forgot my phone in the trunk. however, i then realized that it wasn't in the trunk. i had unfortunately slammed the trunk door onto the phone, pinning it between the trunk and the ledge. ugh. now it's dented on one side, and i have a couple of the big buttons cracked. great. sigh. i want the new iphone!!!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
the opportunity of a lifetime
camp started this past week, and after the first three days, i am pooped beyond imaginable. adjusting to waking up at 530am to get to work by 645am gets pretty exhausting when you're also leaving work around 7pm everyday. hopefully this week gets better though, and i can start being a normal human being again.
this camp is beyond all my expectations for it. prior to the start, i thought i was real smart and knew a lot about adhd kids and how to handle them. it's a horribly big misconception, and incredibly difficult to understand until you're actually in the roll. the whole camp has 49 kids only, and there are 30 counselors. most would think that the ratio is already pretty good, but it's not enough! many of these kids need one on one attention, and it gets really crazy when you've got a bunch of them running around. eesh.
i wish that everyone of you can have this opportunity to spend time with these kids. it's been the toughest thing i've ever had to do, but i feel so blessed to be able to do this. hah, some of you reading this may be getting confused. you're all used to the easily frustrated and easily annoyed me that would make you wonder if this is right for me, but i'd like to say that i'm pretty different when i'm with them. i constantly feel like i'm on a high during the day, like there's no better feeling in the world. anger, frustration, and low tolerance goes out the door. i'm leaning more and more towards teaching special ed as my profession - it's tough as hell, but i'm excited. being with these kids make me come alive :D
hope everyone is having a great summer. apologies for not being around -_-
this camp is beyond all my expectations for it. prior to the start, i thought i was real smart and knew a lot about adhd kids and how to handle them. it's a horribly big misconception, and incredibly difficult to understand until you're actually in the roll. the whole camp has 49 kids only, and there are 30 counselors. most would think that the ratio is already pretty good, but it's not enough! many of these kids need one on one attention, and it gets really crazy when you've got a bunch of them running around. eesh.
i wish that everyone of you can have this opportunity to spend time with these kids. it's been the toughest thing i've ever had to do, but i feel so blessed to be able to do this. hah, some of you reading this may be getting confused. you're all used to the easily frustrated and easily annoyed me that would make you wonder if this is right for me, but i'd like to say that i'm pretty different when i'm with them. i constantly feel like i'm on a high during the day, like there's no better feeling in the world. anger, frustration, and low tolerance goes out the door. i'm leaning more and more towards teaching special ed as my profession - it's tough as hell, but i'm excited. being with these kids make me come alive :D
hope everyone is having a great summer. apologies for not being around -_-
Sunday, June 22, 2008
miscellaneous
eek, i hope i spelled the title of this post right. anyway, just some random thoughts to jot down.
- why in the world does the dmv make people sit through a six hour defensive driving class? ugh, i'd rather pay the extra whatever amount of money for the insurance than to sit through that thing ever again. AND i missed church for it. so sad :(
- it's weird how everyone is getting a blog. but cool, i guess. my google reader used to be like...75% real blogs (like non-personal ones) and 25% friends' blogs. now it's the exact opposite. which is kinda cool, i guess. i just don't want it to turn into xanga and livejournal. blogger is cooler than that.
- i'm starting work with the kids in THREE days. it scares the bejesus out of me cos these kids are so crazy! adorable and funny and awesome, but crazy! need to start training myself to wake up at 6am again -_-
- currently applying to be a nyc teaching fellow. one of the last things i ever wanted to be was a teacher. and after getting into the field i'm in, and working with kids with special needs, all i want to do is to teach special ed. now it's up to God to see if that's where He wants me :D
- i need a vacation, har har. summer's only beginning and i'm already thinking about it. eesh.
eh. random post. i guess it's for all of you who are bored :)
- why in the world does the dmv make people sit through a six hour defensive driving class? ugh, i'd rather pay the extra whatever amount of money for the insurance than to sit through that thing ever again. AND i missed church for it. so sad :(
- it's weird how everyone is getting a blog. but cool, i guess. my google reader used to be like...75% real blogs (like non-personal ones) and 25% friends' blogs. now it's the exact opposite. which is kinda cool, i guess. i just don't want it to turn into xanga and livejournal. blogger is cooler than that.
- i'm starting work with the kids in THREE days. it scares the bejesus out of me cos these kids are so crazy! adorable and funny and awesome, but crazy! need to start training myself to wake up at 6am again -_-
- currently applying to be a nyc teaching fellow. one of the last things i ever wanted to be was a teacher. and after getting into the field i'm in, and working with kids with special needs, all i want to do is to teach special ed. now it's up to God to see if that's where He wants me :D
- i need a vacation, har har. summer's only beginning and i'm already thinking about it. eesh.
eh. random post. i guess it's for all of you who are bored :)
Thursday, June 19, 2008
i feel like a white girl.
like the title of this post says, i feel like a white girl. why? i spent two days in a row at the mall. why? because i was bored out of my mind. why? because i'm living in the suburbs. and there is absolutely nothing better to do here.
ugh.
and i bought something from ruehl today. slightly disappointed in myself.
all i need now are a pair of uggs, an LV purse, and a north face jacket.
ugh.
i need brooklyn.
and my beloved manhattan.
save me. make plans to hang out with me and drag me out to civilization :)
ugh.
and i bought something from ruehl today. slightly disappointed in myself.
all i need now are a pair of uggs, an LV purse, and a north face jacket.
ugh.
i need brooklyn.
and my beloved manhattan.
save me. make plans to hang out with me and drag me out to civilization :)
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
face wash makes you grow beards??
hellooo. just thought i'd give an update on my life, for those who care :)
since i've been back from basileia, i started training to work at a summer camp for kids with adhd. if you're thinking it's something like ocm's summer day camp, boy, let me tell you that you couldn't be more wrong, haha. the training itself is 4 freakin weeks, and it's jam-packed with a whole lot of stuff i have to learn by the time camp starts on june 25. the way that the camp is run is that it's all based on a token economy, and a rewards/points system. every minute of the day, from the time that the kids arrive at the camp (815am) til when they leave (4pm), they can be earning and losing points. most of our training revolves around learning this rigid point system, and what kids can be getting points for. it's a crazy system, and really complex to the outside eye, but so awesome when you're in it and actually doing therapy with these kids.
the camp has 50-something kids in total, split into 4 groups by age. i'm the lead counselor for the red group, the 9-10 year olds, and working with 5 other counselors. yes, that means that there are 6 counselors for 11 kids. it's a great counselor:camper ratio, but it's still gonna be extremely tough to manage them. i'm so afraid one of my kids is gonna run away or hurt him/herself. last year, there was this one kid who ran away from his group, and ran up to the roof. man, if that happened to me, i'd probably be crapping in my pants.
but anyway, long story short, this camp is gonna be taking a really big toll on my physical state/health. gotta be there at 730am everyday, can't leave til at least 600pm. probably gonna take a toll on my spiritual health as well, since it'll be hard to find time that i'm awake/alert to do QTs and stuff. so yea, pray for me, please. this is something that i think God is pushing me to do in the future, so i hope this camp goes well and i can get a job with the institute for adhd come this fall.
guess that's all for now...oh. the title of this post? the other day, my cousin convinced me that his face wash would make me grow a beard. needless to say, it wasn't true, but i believed him for a bit >< boys are dumb!
hah.
later :)
since i've been back from basileia, i started training to work at a summer camp for kids with adhd. if you're thinking it's something like ocm's summer day camp, boy, let me tell you that you couldn't be more wrong, haha. the training itself is 4 freakin weeks, and it's jam-packed with a whole lot of stuff i have to learn by the time camp starts on june 25. the way that the camp is run is that it's all based on a token economy, and a rewards/points system. every minute of the day, from the time that the kids arrive at the camp (815am) til when they leave (4pm), they can be earning and losing points. most of our training revolves around learning this rigid point system, and what kids can be getting points for. it's a crazy system, and really complex to the outside eye, but so awesome when you're in it and actually doing therapy with these kids.
the camp has 50-something kids in total, split into 4 groups by age. i'm the lead counselor for the red group, the 9-10 year olds, and working with 5 other counselors. yes, that means that there are 6 counselors for 11 kids. it's a great counselor:camper ratio, but it's still gonna be extremely tough to manage them. i'm so afraid one of my kids is gonna run away or hurt him/herself. last year, there was this one kid who ran away from his group, and ran up to the roof. man, if that happened to me, i'd probably be crapping in my pants.
but anyway, long story short, this camp is gonna be taking a really big toll on my physical state/health. gotta be there at 730am everyday, can't leave til at least 600pm. probably gonna take a toll on my spiritual health as well, since it'll be hard to find time that i'm awake/alert to do QTs and stuff. so yea, pray for me, please. this is something that i think God is pushing me to do in the future, so i hope this camp goes well and i can get a job with the institute for adhd come this fall.
guess that's all for now...oh. the title of this post? the other day, my cousin convinced me that his face wash would make me grow a beard. needless to say, it wasn't true, but i believed him for a bit >< boys are dumb!
hah.
later :)
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
more about driving...
so i've been driving for about a week now, and i have to say, i feel like a brat, but public transportation is just so ICK now. driving is way, way better. driving in queens + suburbs, however, is much different from driving in brooklyn + the city. since living in queens and all that, i've become a much bigger fan of the outer borough. the roads are nice, the neighborhoods safe (at least in little neck), and the people are nicer too! i don't have to worry about potholes (SO FREAKING MANY IN BROOKLYN) or alternate side of the street parking!
and get this...so i'm HORRIBLE at parallel parking. God's been really gracious though...so far, i haven't been in a situation where i've had to fit my car into a tight spot. everything i've needed to park in comes with an extra big spot so that parking becomes very easy :D or maybe it's just cos i have a little car. either way, it's been awesome.
i also wanted to say...there are definitely a bunch of things you notice only when you start driving. i'm sure there's more than the ones i'm gonna list below, but i figured i'd start a running list:
1) there are so many fire hydrants...is this really necessary???
2) taxis SUCK. they stop anywhere and everywhere and cut into your lane all the time
3) people who walk slow are stinkers. they stop traffic. walk a little faster! or better yet...DRIVE :D
4) potholes really hurt. i cringe every time i drive over one. the city department of whatever is in charge of roads should really get on that.
haha okay that's all. lastly, everyone's getting a blogger, yay!! haha i don't feel like i was one of the first to get blogger, but now i've had one for a little more than 6 months. it's starting to get even more popular, so yay!
enjoy the nice weather homefries :D
and get this...so i'm HORRIBLE at parallel parking. God's been really gracious though...so far, i haven't been in a situation where i've had to fit my car into a tight spot. everything i've needed to park in comes with an extra big spot so that parking becomes very easy :D or maybe it's just cos i have a little car. either way, it's been awesome.
i also wanted to say...there are definitely a bunch of things you notice only when you start driving. i'm sure there's more than the ones i'm gonna list below, but i figured i'd start a running list:
1) there are so many fire hydrants...is this really necessary???
2) taxis SUCK. they stop anywhere and everywhere and cut into your lane all the time
3) people who walk slow are stinkers. they stop traffic. walk a little faster! or better yet...DRIVE :D
4) potholes really hurt. i cringe every time i drive over one. the city department of whatever is in charge of roads should really get on that.
haha okay that's all. lastly, everyone's getting a blogger, yay!! haha i don't feel like i was one of the first to get blogger, but now i've had one for a little more than 6 months. it's starting to get even more popular, so yay!
enjoy the nice weather homefries :D
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
basileia
so i decided not to write anything about basileia here. a lot of it's pretty personal, and i don't mind sharing with you all...just not the rest of the world. if y'all wanna know what happened, and how God's worked in me, gtalk me or something. i'd be more than glad to catch you all up :D
Friday, May 30, 2008
i'm a big girl now
so today i drove by myself for the first time ever. you might not think it's a big accomplishment, but if you've seen me drive previously, then it's an amazing achievement, haha. oh yea, and it wasn't just like a 5-10 minute drive. i drove from LI to home in brooklyn during rush hour! yayuh!
but i already messed up. last night i forgot to turn off my headlights before i realized it after 45 minutes. and then later that night i opened the front passenger window and this morning i woke up and realized i never closed it -_- i need to take better care of the car, sigh.
post about basileia to come in the near future...need time to sit down and think first.
peace :)
but i already messed up. last night i forgot to turn off my headlights before i realized it after 45 minutes. and then later that night i opened the front passenger window and this morning i woke up and realized i never closed it -_- i need to take better care of the car, sigh.
post about basileia to come in the near future...need time to sit down and think first.
peace :)
Sunday, May 11, 2008
who would've thought.... =P
warning: this is the long entry i mentioned previously...it's been in the works for a really long time. it's deep and tough and hopefully you have the patience to read it through.
today, i graduated from college. after 4 long years of laughter, tears, joy, and sadness. the biggest and most influential chapter of my life is now over. in the last 4 years, i have struggled through college, fallen in love, had my bouts with God (still having them), gained and lost friends, went through a lot with family, had my life completely turned around, had doors slammed in my face, learned a lot more than i ever thought i could from friends, gained a family that i'll always cherish and remember, and LIVED. when i'm old and gray and rocking away on a porch somewhere, i can look back and say that i've spent my four years in college living life the way it should be lived. should i have done some things differently? made some better choices? acted differently? yea, probably. actually, more like i definitely should have been smarter about some things. but i don't regret a single day at all. i have learned and grown so much in the last 4 years, i can barely even remember what i was like in high school.
this past year has definitely been the toughest, yet the most memorable. when i turned 21, i definitely thought that i would be having the best year of my life. finally legal, able to do what i want to do, carefree without a worry in the world. then what? my life fell apart. or so i thought. in the midst of emotions (i'm clearly a feelings person), i let a relationship get out of hand and become the center of my life. everything revolved around him, and when i "lost" him, i thought that my life was over. ironically, this occurred at the same time that i was baptized...coincidence? i think not. God had intentionally allow this relationship to crumble so that i could concentrate on the plan he had for me. this also happened in the same week that i found out that i'd be on the servant team for aacf this year as their large group coordinator. was that something i could've done while being so focused on someone? God didn't think so, and now when i think about it, i don't think so either!
anyway, everything took a long time to settle in for me. it was a long time before i realized what had happened, and how many changes there were. unfortunately for me, for him, for my family, and for my friends, i learned a lesson the hard way. by being so focused on me, me, and me all the time, i had completely taken for granted all those around me who were supportive and loving. instead, i yelled at them, i argued with them, i picked fights. yet they still loved me, listened to me, let me cry on their shoulders. they allowed me to see that my life was NOT over - in fact, it was truly just the beginning.
so now i was starting my last year in college after a summer that didn't go the way that i had hoped it would. i definitely thought that i'd be having a bad year, but that all changed the very day i went back to school for RA training - august 17. being surrounded by a different group of friends made all the difference in the world. soon i became really busy with all that i had to do - RA, aacf, class, work, a life! my senior year has been the most hectic in terms of time and getting everything done, but it's also been the biggest blessing. i learned to depend on friends and family, and started to get my life back on track. my relationship with the big man even improved! by like ten fold, haha. when i went home for the first time a month later, my mom asked me if i was happy. i looked at her with a puzzled look, but smiled and answered 'yes.' she started smiling and said, 'good. you finally look happy.'
almost a year later, i'm a different person. i'd like to say that i grew up a lot and that i've used my past experiences and those around me to shape me into the karen you all know now. it's been a tough battle, and i'm still fighting and making mistakes, but that's okay. i like making mistakes, even though it takes me a long time to learn life lessons. making mistakes reminds me that i'm imperfect, and that reminds me of how good God is. His timing and his plan are amazinggggg, and i feel so dumb for ever doubting him.
to aacf - my family, my encouragement, my hope for the future of nyu. you're all extremely amazing people, and it's been a great time this past year as your friend, leader, and sister. i've had the awesome opportunity of witnessing first hand how God has worked in each of your lives. stay true to what you believe in - we live in a corrupt society with people who tell us all sorts of things. just remember what you believe in, and you'll be fine. love the following incoming classes with as much compassion and care that you show each other. always take the time to PRAY and ask each other about their days. i can't wait to come back and visit and see how much you're all changing our school. i love you all, for keeping me sane despite everything. thank you :)
hayden hotties - haha what can i say? we're just a pretty good looking group of people who love to hang out, eat, and be real. you've all be extremely vital in teaching me tough lessons this past year, and for that, i owe you an eternity's worth of hugs. for those that a graduating, i know you're all going to do great things because of your amazing personalities and drive to have fun in life above all else. everyone else, you have a couple of years left to leave your mark on this school and those around you - leave a good mark, okay? learn to love everyone around you, and try not to judge a book by its cover (i know, i'm guilty too). stay awesome, stay hot :D
there are a certain group of friends who have literally CHANGED my life this year with their presence and constant loving. i don't have to list - you should know who you are. i owe you guys my life. thanks for always sticking by me even when i'm a horrible person =P
college is over, but the next chapter of my life is ready and waiting to start. i'm excited for what's going to happen, and for how much i'm gonna be broken and molded to be the person i was made to be :)
[thanks for reading all the way to the end...this entry has a lot, and it's deep and personal. i think only 5 people know about this blog, but most of you won't read it, but that's okay.]
peace out homefries :D
love,
karebear
today, i graduated from college. after 4 long years of laughter, tears, joy, and sadness. the biggest and most influential chapter of my life is now over. in the last 4 years, i have struggled through college, fallen in love, had my bouts with God (still having them), gained and lost friends, went through a lot with family, had my life completely turned around, had doors slammed in my face, learned a lot more than i ever thought i could from friends, gained a family that i'll always cherish and remember, and LIVED. when i'm old and gray and rocking away on a porch somewhere, i can look back and say that i've spent my four years in college living life the way it should be lived. should i have done some things differently? made some better choices? acted differently? yea, probably. actually, more like i definitely should have been smarter about some things. but i don't regret a single day at all. i have learned and grown so much in the last 4 years, i can barely even remember what i was like in high school.
this past year has definitely been the toughest, yet the most memorable. when i turned 21, i definitely thought that i would be having the best year of my life. finally legal, able to do what i want to do, carefree without a worry in the world. then what? my life fell apart. or so i thought. in the midst of emotions (i'm clearly a feelings person), i let a relationship get out of hand and become the center of my life. everything revolved around him, and when i "lost" him, i thought that my life was over. ironically, this occurred at the same time that i was baptized...coincidence? i think not. God had intentionally allow this relationship to crumble so that i could concentrate on the plan he had for me. this also happened in the same week that i found out that i'd be on the servant team for aacf this year as their large group coordinator. was that something i could've done while being so focused on someone? God didn't think so, and now when i think about it, i don't think so either!
anyway, everything took a long time to settle in for me. it was a long time before i realized what had happened, and how many changes there were. unfortunately for me, for him, for my family, and for my friends, i learned a lesson the hard way. by being so focused on me, me, and me all the time, i had completely taken for granted all those around me who were supportive and loving. instead, i yelled at them, i argued with them, i picked fights. yet they still loved me, listened to me, let me cry on their shoulders. they allowed me to see that my life was NOT over - in fact, it was truly just the beginning.
so now i was starting my last year in college after a summer that didn't go the way that i had hoped it would. i definitely thought that i'd be having a bad year, but that all changed the very day i went back to school for RA training - august 17. being surrounded by a different group of friends made all the difference in the world. soon i became really busy with all that i had to do - RA, aacf, class, work, a life! my senior year has been the most hectic in terms of time and getting everything done, but it's also been the biggest blessing. i learned to depend on friends and family, and started to get my life back on track. my relationship with the big man even improved! by like ten fold, haha. when i went home for the first time a month later, my mom asked me if i was happy. i looked at her with a puzzled look, but smiled and answered 'yes.' she started smiling and said, 'good. you finally look happy.'
almost a year later, i'm a different person. i'd like to say that i grew up a lot and that i've used my past experiences and those around me to shape me into the karen you all know now. it's been a tough battle, and i'm still fighting and making mistakes, but that's okay. i like making mistakes, even though it takes me a long time to learn life lessons. making mistakes reminds me that i'm imperfect, and that reminds me of how good God is. His timing and his plan are amazinggggg, and i feel so dumb for ever doubting him.
to aacf - my family, my encouragement, my hope for the future of nyu. you're all extremely amazing people, and it's been a great time this past year as your friend, leader, and sister. i've had the awesome opportunity of witnessing first hand how God has worked in each of your lives. stay true to what you believe in - we live in a corrupt society with people who tell us all sorts of things. just remember what you believe in, and you'll be fine. love the following incoming classes with as much compassion and care that you show each other. always take the time to PRAY and ask each other about their days. i can't wait to come back and visit and see how much you're all changing our school. i love you all, for keeping me sane despite everything. thank you :)
hayden hotties - haha what can i say? we're just a pretty good looking group of people who love to hang out, eat, and be real. you've all be extremely vital in teaching me tough lessons this past year, and for that, i owe you an eternity's worth of hugs. for those that a graduating, i know you're all going to do great things because of your amazing personalities and drive to have fun in life above all else. everyone else, you have a couple of years left to leave your mark on this school and those around you - leave a good mark, okay? learn to love everyone around you, and try not to judge a book by its cover (i know, i'm guilty too). stay awesome, stay hot :D
there are a certain group of friends who have literally CHANGED my life this year with their presence and constant loving. i don't have to list - you should know who you are. i owe you guys my life. thanks for always sticking by me even when i'm a horrible person =P
college is over, but the next chapter of my life is ready and waiting to start. i'm excited for what's going to happen, and for how much i'm gonna be broken and molded to be the person i was made to be :)
[thanks for reading all the way to the end...this entry has a lot, and it's deep and personal. i think only 5 people know about this blog, but most of you won't read it, but that's okay.]
peace out homefries :D
love,
karebear
Thursday, May 8, 2008
the home stretch
i'm in the midst of pulling an all-nighter on the night before my last final in college. it's scary to think that i'm going to be graduating in less than a week. god.
speaking of graduation, please don't congratulate me. i'm glad y'all are happy for me...i really appreciate it. however, i'm graduating to be unemployed with no set future plans. pray for me instead, please.
anyway, this all-nighter? i drank a redbull for the first time ever. it tastes damn good - now i realize why people drink it. and then it didn't work so well. so i took a starbucks espresso doubleshot. thank goodness starbucks is open 24 hours these next couple days.
can't wait for finals/papers to be over. tomorrow is senior bar crawl, and i am damn excited. after studying and holing myself up in bob st, it'll be nice to have a drink and play with no strings attached :)
good luck on finals/papers/projects everyone. almost done :D
speaking of graduation, please don't congratulate me. i'm glad y'all are happy for me...i really appreciate it. however, i'm graduating to be unemployed with no set future plans. pray for me instead, please.
anyway, this all-nighter? i drank a redbull for the first time ever. it tastes damn good - now i realize why people drink it. and then it didn't work so well. so i took a starbucks espresso doubleshot. thank goodness starbucks is open 24 hours these next couple days.
can't wait for finals/papers to be over. tomorrow is senior bar crawl, and i am damn excited. after studying and holing myself up in bob st, it'll be nice to have a drink and play with no strings attached :)
good luck on finals/papers/projects everyone. almost done :D
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
all growed up
this week is my last week of classes as an undergrad student. i am scared. and anxious.
cas graduation @ msg - may 11th
all university graduation @ yankee stadium - may 14th
basileia - may 17th - 22nd
work: may 29th - august 19th
i'm excited. God has lots planned for me...i know it :D
cas graduation @ msg - may 11th
all university graduation @ yankee stadium - may 14th
basileia - may 17th - 22nd
work: may 29th - august 19th
i'm excited. God has lots planned for me...i know it :D
Monday, April 21, 2008
beware
just warning all of you...i have a long post (think: a book) coming about everything that i've learned, both about myself and about life, in the past year.
oh yea, just to share with y'all for now...i've started to pick up playing guitar. it's harder than you think to pick up an instrument when you're 22! anyone have any suggestions of how to grow calluses on your finger faster? my fingers already feel like they're bleeding to death...
enjoy the awesome weather :D
oh yea, just to share with y'all for now...i've started to pick up playing guitar. it's harder than you think to pick up an instrument when you're 22! anyone have any suggestions of how to grow calluses on your finger faster? my fingers already feel like they're bleeding to death...
enjoy the awesome weather :D
Friday, April 11, 2008
asian eyes stink! -_-
so everyone has heard of the stories of asian eyes. we only have single eyelids (unless we're lucky), and we envy those that have double eyelids, since the world has taught us that it looks "better" and "prettier." some people even have surgery to get that fold in their eyelid. stinky, right?
well i grew up with a single eyelid. never really had a problem with it, either. i didn't really care to have a double eyelid. however, i would notice that when i got really tired and didn't get enough sleep, my eyes would fold over and it would look like i had a double eyelid.
somehow, in the last month, my right eye has magically become a double eyelid. instead of saying OH YAY i look hot now, i have to live with the fact that my eyes are uneven. my left eye is still stubbornly a single eyelid.
so for those that see me and notice that my eyes are different, try not to say anything. i know it looks weird, get over it. i just need to pray that my left eye will eventually "grow" another eyelid.
damn asian eyes...
well i grew up with a single eyelid. never really had a problem with it, either. i didn't really care to have a double eyelid. however, i would notice that when i got really tired and didn't get enough sleep, my eyes would fold over and it would look like i had a double eyelid.
somehow, in the last month, my right eye has magically become a double eyelid. instead of saying OH YAY i look hot now, i have to live with the fact that my eyes are uneven. my left eye is still stubbornly a single eyelid.
so for those that see me and notice that my eyes are different, try not to say anything. i know it looks weird, get over it. i just need to pray that my left eye will eventually "grow" another eyelid.
damn asian eyes...
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
summer plans!
this summer, i'll be working at a camp for kids who have extreme cases of adhd. this means no spending 2.5 weeks in hawaii as i originally had planned to. this may also mean an end to my social life (or not, since i'd have a car).
there's 4 weeks of training in LI (i get to drive :D), and then 8 weeks of the actual camp in the bronx.
it's going to be 10-12 hour days (not including travel time), and it's going to be exhausting and energy-zapping, but it'll be such an awesome experience.
please pray for me as i am still trying to figure out my living and travel arrangements. this is an AWESOME opportunity that i don't want to pass up, but at the same time, it might kill me, both physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
btw, does anyone wanna take me in for the summer? :P
there's 4 weeks of training in LI (i get to drive :D), and then 8 weeks of the actual camp in the bronx.
it's going to be 10-12 hour days (not including travel time), and it's going to be exhausting and energy-zapping, but it'll be such an awesome experience.
please pray for me as i am still trying to figure out my living and travel arrangements. this is an AWESOME opportunity that i don't want to pass up, but at the same time, it might kill me, both physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
btw, does anyone wanna take me in for the summer? :P
Monday, March 31, 2008
eek! random thoughts and graduation
as a second semester senior, i'm taking a pretty easy course load (for the first time in my life). although i have a lot of extracurricular activities that take up a lot of my time, the lack of work to do gives me a lot of time to sit back, relax, think, and do what i really like to do.
this semester has made me realize what my passion is. surprisingly, it's worship. and music. and now you're all probably wondering why it's music. i'm probably the least musically talented person in the world. i can't play any instruments, and i can't even clap to the music sometimes if i don't concentrate fully on it.
so why music? i love to sing. i know i'm not great at it, but singing probably gives me the greatest fulfillment. especially worship songs. being in an acappella group this semester and having voice lessons really opened my eyes to the wonderful world of music.
as i'm about to graduate, i've been struggling a lot with post-graduation plans. it's so hard to discern what God wants from what i want. no matter what though, i'm committing myself to learn an instrument. it'll be tough to learn since i'm an old geezer, but i'm determined.
graduation is may 14th, and today is march 31st. it's scary how real this has become! it's happening, and though i may be nervous and anxious as hell, i'm excited. i'm finally all growed up :) just gotta make the most of this last month and a half....
this semester has made me realize what my passion is. surprisingly, it's worship. and music. and now you're all probably wondering why it's music. i'm probably the least musically talented person in the world. i can't play any instruments, and i can't even clap to the music sometimes if i don't concentrate fully on it.
so why music? i love to sing. i know i'm not great at it, but singing probably gives me the greatest fulfillment. especially worship songs. being in an acappella group this semester and having voice lessons really opened my eyes to the wonderful world of music.
as i'm about to graduate, i've been struggling a lot with post-graduation plans. it's so hard to discern what God wants from what i want. no matter what though, i'm committing myself to learn an instrument. it'll be tough to learn since i'm an old geezer, but i'm determined.
graduation is may 14th, and today is march 31st. it's scary how real this has become! it's happening, and though i may be nervous and anxious as hell, i'm excited. i'm finally all growed up :) just gotta make the most of this last month and a half....
Monday, March 10, 2008
the snooze button
every monday, wednesday, and friday, i need to be at work at 9am. at the beginning of the semester (read: first 3 weeks), i would set my alarm for 6:45, snooze til 7:15 or so, then get ready and leave by 8:00am so that i could catch the 8:17 bus to be at work by 8:40 or so.
after awhile, i started taking the train, which i need to pay for, but got me there a lot quicker so i started setting my alarm for 7:10, thinking i'd snooze til 7:30, then get up and leave by 8:20 to be at work a little before 9:00. this lasted another 2-3 weeks.
one day, the research assistant that i work with told me that it was okay if i didn't get there at exactly 9:00 everyday, because (let's face it) no one else did. with that mentality, the times i started waking up got progressively later and later.
this morning, i set my alarm for 7:40, thinking i would snooze til 8:00 and then get up. i didn't get up til 8:15, rushed to get out the door by 8:45, and go to work at 9:15.
the point of all this is:
1. i snooze WAY too much...who else do you know presses the snooze button AT LEAST 4 times before they get up (btw...my snooze is 9 minutes)
2. i realize that i'm not a fan of being on time to things anymore. i used to be one of those people who hated being late, and hated when others were late. i've come to realize that everyone else is always late, making me being on time seem extra early - therefore, i'm late, just like everyone else now.
anyway, in less than a week i'll be on the beaches of south carolina. i'm so excited to get out of the nastiness that is the northeast and go somewhere warm. no responsibilities, no obligations, just relaxation and fun. before that, i have a big midterm to deal with...great -_-
til next time,
take care all!
love,
karebear :)
after awhile, i started taking the train, which i need to pay for, but got me there a lot quicker so i started setting my alarm for 7:10, thinking i'd snooze til 7:30, then get up and leave by 8:20 to be at work a little before 9:00. this lasted another 2-3 weeks.
one day, the research assistant that i work with told me that it was okay if i didn't get there at exactly 9:00 everyday, because (let's face it) no one else did. with that mentality, the times i started waking up got progressively later and later.
this morning, i set my alarm for 7:40, thinking i would snooze til 8:00 and then get up. i didn't get up til 8:15, rushed to get out the door by 8:45, and go to work at 9:15.
the point of all this is:
1. i snooze WAY too much...who else do you know presses the snooze button AT LEAST 4 times before they get up (btw...my snooze is 9 minutes)
2. i realize that i'm not a fan of being on time to things anymore. i used to be one of those people who hated being late, and hated when others were late. i've come to realize that everyone else is always late, making me being on time seem extra early - therefore, i'm late, just like everyone else now.
anyway, in less than a week i'll be on the beaches of south carolina. i'm so excited to get out of the nastiness that is the northeast and go somewhere warm. no responsibilities, no obligations, just relaxation and fun. before that, i have a big midterm to deal with...great -_-
til next time,
take care all!
love,
karebear :)
Sunday, March 2, 2008
ROYGBIV
today i had the opportunity to go snowboarding with four yiu's (3 yiu brothers and 1 yiu cousin). pretty fun, except the trails aren't groomed which kinda stink.
anyway, we're all sitting at dinner afterwards and we somehow started discussing old tv shows. here's how the conversation went:
andrew: roots!!! omg!
me: what's that?
andrew: how do you not know what roots is??
chris: it's from the same guy as reading rainbow!
vinny: oh yea!!
andrew (to me): have you heard of reading rainbow??
me: yes! i've just never seen it!
andrew: do you even know what the colors of the rainbow are??
me: um...ROYGBIV!
tony: yea....red, green, ...
all of us: WHAT?!?!
maybe he hit his head a little to hard :P
snowboarding = fun...i wish nyc had a mountain :(
anyway, we're all sitting at dinner afterwards and we somehow started discussing old tv shows. here's how the conversation went:
andrew: roots!!! omg!
me: what's that?
andrew: how do you not know what roots is??
chris: it's from the same guy as reading rainbow!
vinny: oh yea!!
andrew (to me): have you heard of reading rainbow??
me: yes! i've just never seen it!
andrew: do you even know what the colors of the rainbow are??
me: um...ROYGBIV!
tony: yea....red, green, ...
all of us: WHAT?!?!
maybe he hit his head a little to hard :P
snowboarding = fun...i wish nyc had a mountain :(
Thursday, February 21, 2008
how to please a kid
here's a conversation between a 6-year old girl and her mother at gymnastics. the girl (anna) was having a private lesson with the girl that i babysit (hanna). i took them both there after school and anna'a mother (emily) came to the place after to pick her up.
emily: look girls, i brought you each a cookie
anna & hanna: yay!!
(they both grab one from the cup that's in my hand and start eating)
anna: hey...mine isn't chocolate chip!
emily: aw sorry sweetie i didn't realize i picked up oatmeal raisin.
me: hanna can you give some of your chocolate chip cookie to anna?
hanna: (shakes head)
anna: (looks upset, as if she's about to cry)
emily: hunnie, it's okay...we'll get you something else!
anna: (pouting) like what???
emily: here...do you want some money?
anna: OKAY!
even 6 year olds...sheesh. i would've gone for the cookie -_-
gymnastics practice is like a haven for all the babysitters and nannies of the world. very few parents ever show up to this place. last week, a nanny brought in a girl (who had lessons) and her younger brother, who was crying. he had been crying for awhile, so the nanny called his mother, and explained the situation to the mom. "your son is crying because he wanted to say bye to the train and he didn't remember til they were at least 5 minutes off the train and walking to the gymnastics studio." i assume the mother wanted to speak to the son after that, cos the next thing i knew, the son was saying into the phone, "mommy i'm crying!"
funny kids...i wonder if i was ever that naive..
emily: look girls, i brought you each a cookie
anna & hanna: yay!!
(they both grab one from the cup that's in my hand and start eating)
anna: hey...mine isn't chocolate chip!
emily: aw sorry sweetie i didn't realize i picked up oatmeal raisin.
me: hanna can you give some of your chocolate chip cookie to anna?
hanna: (shakes head)
anna: (looks upset, as if she's about to cry)
emily: hunnie, it's okay...we'll get you something else!
anna: (pouting) like what???
emily: here...do you want some money?
anna: OKAY!
even 6 year olds...sheesh. i would've gone for the cookie -_-
gymnastics practice is like a haven for all the babysitters and nannies of the world. very few parents ever show up to this place. last week, a nanny brought in a girl (who had lessons) and her younger brother, who was crying. he had been crying for awhile, so the nanny called his mother, and explained the situation to the mom. "your son is crying because he wanted to say bye to the train and he didn't remember til they were at least 5 minutes off the train and walking to the gymnastics studio." i assume the mother wanted to speak to the son after that, cos the next thing i knew, the son was saying into the phone, "mommy i'm crying!"
funny kids...i wonder if i was ever that naive..
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
have my cake and eat it too
i forgot that i wanted to write about all the different kinds of cake i had last week...
- saturday, mommy bought me chinese cake (and omg i just realized i still have some in my fridge...10 days old now -_-)
- sunday, had a banana and strawberry chocolate cake from veniero's
- monday, carolyn bought me green tea cake from yeh's bakery
- monday, ashley bought a superfabulous chocolate raspberry cake from corrado bakery
- thursday, had angel's food cake with the girl i babysit
- thursday, had chocolate truffle cake with elaine for our date
- thursday, had chocolate cake for vivian's birthday
- friday, had ice cream cake for wesley's birthday
8 pieces of cake in 7 days. goodness....no more cake for me :)
- saturday, mommy bought me chinese cake (and omg i just realized i still have some in my fridge...10 days old now -_-)
- sunday, had a banana and strawberry chocolate cake from veniero's
- monday, carolyn bought me green tea cake from yeh's bakery
- monday, ashley bought a superfabulous chocolate raspberry cake from corrado bakery
- thursday, had angel's food cake with the girl i babysit
- thursday, had chocolate truffle cake with elaine for our date
- thursday, had chocolate cake for vivian's birthday
- friday, had ice cream cake for wesley's birthday
8 pieces of cake in 7 days. goodness....no more cake for me :)
writer's block
i have nothing to say.
i always feel like i need to post something funny or interesting to read.
i'm not very funny or interesting -_-
ah...maybe in a couple of days
i always feel like i need to post something funny or interesting to read.
i'm not very funny or interesting -_-
ah...maybe in a couple of days
Friday, February 15, 2008
exciting week!
wow...definitely had the most exciting week!!!!
turned 22, had an awesome dinner with super-fabulous friends, watched the spice girls at their reunion tour (AMAZING), celebrated valentine's day (haha i wore red and didn't go to class...it was awesome), had a hot date with elaine chiu who gave me the world's best pez dispenser, celebrated friends' birthdays, and tomorrow is going to jersey to party at vivian's house and then snowboarding on saturday!!!!
God has been so good...everything that happens, it's all a blessing from Him, and for that i am so thankful :)
turned 22, had an awesome dinner with super-fabulous friends, watched the spice girls at their reunion tour (AMAZING), celebrated valentine's day (haha i wore red and didn't go to class...it was awesome), had a hot date with elaine chiu who gave me the world's best pez dispenser, celebrated friends' birthdays, and tomorrow is going to jersey to party at vivian's house and then snowboarding on saturday!!!!
God has been so good...everything that happens, it's all a blessing from Him, and for that i am so thankful :)
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
gosh i was dumb
so today, i was having lunch with my little sib (jenn) and we started talking how we used to be a couple of years ago. i told her about one of my old xangas, and i started laughing at how dumb i used to be. the way that i talked...ugh, i thought i was SO cool and SO asian...haha. it's really embarrassing.
anyway, i started reading over some of the entries. to be honest, i wish i could say that that part of me never existed, but there it was, staring right back at me. interesting. i was so naive back then.
if you want a good laugh and actually wanna read them, ask me for the link. i'm not gonna make it public to everyone :P
anyway, i started reading over some of the entries. to be honest, i wish i could say that that part of me never existed, but there it was, staring right back at me. interesting. i was so naive back then.
if you want a good laugh and actually wanna read them, ask me for the link. i'm not gonna make it public to everyone :P
Monday, February 4, 2008
a day in the life.
so the title of this blog has been changed from 'secrets' to 'life of a karebear.' i changed it cos it sounded a little more appropriate.
the giants won the super bowl!!! super excited.
however, i've lost my voice...not so exciting.
tomorrow is going to be a long day...not sure how i'm gonna pull through.
the life of a karebear...here's my schedule for tomorrow
900-1100: internship
1200-100: office hours
200-445: intro to social work
500-600: babysit
600-700: gym! (if i'm so tired at this point that i can barely move, i'm gonna scratch this from my agenda)
730-900: servant team meeting
930-1030: fire safety checks
not to mention that i'm on duty, tomorrow is going to be a damn busy day. UGH!
the giants won the super bowl!!! super excited.
however, i've lost my voice...not so exciting.
tomorrow is going to be a long day...not sure how i'm gonna pull through.
the life of a karebear...here's my schedule for tomorrow
900-1100: internship
1200-100: office hours
200-445: intro to social work
500-600: babysit
600-700: gym! (if i'm so tired at this point that i can barely move, i'm gonna scratch this from my agenda)
730-900: servant team meeting
930-1030: fire safety checks
not to mention that i'm on duty, tomorrow is going to be a damn busy day. UGH!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
ms. softee
i'm too sensitive for my own good. need to stop being weak sauce. a good friend gave me a mini-lecture tonight about having thicker skin and not taking everything everyone says so seriously.
wise words. i'm a softie at heart. need to change that a little bit and "man" up :)
wise words. i'm a softie at heart. need to change that a little bit and "man" up :)
Friday, January 25, 2008
what i could be doing instead...
last week at this time, i was coming home from two days of snowboarding...pretty much having the time of my life.
this week, it's the end of classes. another semester, same old stuff...ick.
how i wish it was vacation all the time...
anyone wanna go snowboarding?? :)
this week, it's the end of classes. another semester, same old stuff...ick.
how i wish it was vacation all the time...
anyone wanna go snowboarding?? :)
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
i wanna have a baby.
i started babysitting again today. first time in about 6-7 months. it feels good. i love being around kids. the way they make you smile and feel like you have no other worries in the world.
being around kids always makes me want one of my own. i was in the playground at washington square park today with hanna (she's 5). there were A LOT of kids there...i guess cos it was such a beautiful and warm day outside. watching kids play is always fun.
anyway, hanna was swinging today, and out of nowhere, i got this deja vu. i'm older, and i'm watching my own kids at the park. i'm videotaping them of course. i have this vision where my children's lives are gonna be recorded on video (on top of multitudes of pictures). i realized that it is me, their mom, at the park with them, playing and having fun. it's not a nanny or a babysitter doing my job for me.
made me think a lot about my future. it's been a hard couple of months, trying to decide what i'm doing with my life. today made it clear that no matter what i'm doing, it has to be flexible enough so that i can have the luxury of playing with my kids. maybe this means i'm working from home, maybe this means i'm not working at all, that i have the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom while my husband makes all the money.
funny thoughts, ha. my future husband, wherever you are, be forewarned. i'm gonna need someone to allow me to spend a hell of a lotta time with my kids :)
i can't wait to be a mom, haha.
being around kids always makes me want one of my own. i was in the playground at washington square park today with hanna (she's 5). there were A LOT of kids there...i guess cos it was such a beautiful and warm day outside. watching kids play is always fun.
anyway, hanna was swinging today, and out of nowhere, i got this deja vu. i'm older, and i'm watching my own kids at the park. i'm videotaping them of course. i have this vision where my children's lives are gonna be recorded on video (on top of multitudes of pictures). i realized that it is me, their mom, at the park with them, playing and having fun. it's not a nanny or a babysitter doing my job for me.
made me think a lot about my future. it's been a hard couple of months, trying to decide what i'm doing with my life. today made it clear that no matter what i'm doing, it has to be flexible enough so that i can have the luxury of playing with my kids. maybe this means i'm working from home, maybe this means i'm not working at all, that i have the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom while my husband makes all the money.
funny thoughts, ha. my future husband, wherever you are, be forewarned. i'm gonna need someone to allow me to spend a hell of a lotta time with my kids :)
i can't wait to be a mom, haha.
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