anxious waiting

it's been awhile since i've been able to just sit down and write. camp has really taken up a lot of my time, with long work days and having to do stuff outside of camp at times.

as of tonight, exactly 26 days of camp have passed. unfortunately, that means that there's only 14 days left!!! it's funny how when i think of it, 14 days is such a short time, whereas in the beginning of the summer, it felt like camp would never end. the camp itself is a tiring process. since the end of the 3rd week of camp, my throat has been sore and my voice has been hoarse, and there is no time to recover between being so busy and always having to speak at the top of my lungs.

in the last 26 days, i've realized that i've begun to treat each of my 12 campers as if they were my own kid. there is no better feeling than being able to celebrate with them, laugh, get upset, feel frustration together, and even be anxious and scared together. in essence, i really do feel like a mother, and for those of you who know me pretty well, you know that i've wanted to be a mother for the longest time. it's a weird kinda wanting, but i'm so anxious about it - really can't wait for it to happen (hence the title of this post). being with these 12 kids everyday, all of who need so much loving and support and encouragement constantly has turned me into a mother to all of them. the best feeling is definitely working on something with them, and seeing the progress they've made since the summer. their achievements and progess are enough to make any parent proud.

best story and one of the highlights of my summer: one of my campers was deathly afraid of putting his head into the water. he could tread pretty well, and he was able to do backstroke and sidestroke, but he wasn't able to ever put his head in the water because he was scared. we've been working on it since the first day at camp, and yesterday he put his head in the water for the first time!!! not only that, but he did a front float all on his own!! some of you may not think it's a big deal, but it was such an accomplishment for him, and all my counselors had such a good time celebrating the achievement with him.

so while this camp is tiring and stressful, and sometimes i feel like i want to strangle the kids, the truth is that in the end, it's just plain rewarding, and seeing smiles on these kids instantly puts a smile on my face. it's ironic...when friends first found out that i was doing this for the summer, many of them said to me "don't you need a lot of patience to work with these kids?" of course i took that to mean that they didn't think i had the patience for it (and i guess that's fair to say), but i still denied it and said that i was different with the kids and would be patient no matter what. now i've realized that i actually AM patient with them (for the most part), and even little things that used to annoy me are things that i just brush aside now.

funny how one summer can change you and your attitude. hah, i bet all of you are sick of me talking about camp, since that's all i do, but it's amazing!!!


on another note (and i'm totally changing the subject), i took a roadtrip to virginia this past weekend with some friends, and had a lot more fun that i had in a very long time. it was so nice just to be able to relax and not think about the future, school, work, etc. i feel like i haven't had one of those since the end of high school. i thought about it, and i realize that i definitely need to go on little vacations more often :)

end of randomness. sorry to make y'all read through that.
hah. good night.

swollen feet

i want a new tattoo. not really sure why, and i'm still deciding between a couple of things to get, but why not? after all, they're representative of different stages/seasons of my life. i know i want it to be on my back, right under my neck where the bone is. it'll probably hurt, but can't be too bad. we'll see. or maybe i'll just get another piercing. i've been itching to do something different these past couple of weeks, and i guess it came down to this :P

long weekends are nice. ugh. it feels so great not to have to wake up at 6am. i've been sleeping in til 11ish the last two days, which is so weird cos i never really have the chance to sleep in. too bad that monday comes so soon after the weekend, haha. but at least i'm lucky. while my job tires me out, i'm thankful that i enjoy it a lot. so much so that i wish someone would create a whole school-year long program just like this. it means so much to these kids that they feel special. these are the kids that are always in trouble, and have privileges taken away from them. at the camp, we make them put all that aside. they're never punished, except for the handful of timeouts, and everyone has a chance to get daily awards and to go on weekly field trips. it's pretty amazing to see the smiles on these kids faces, smiles that not many people get to see because they have such low self-esteem.

i feel like every time i write a new post, i start by writing about a random topic, but i always seem to go back to writing about the kids i work with. haha, obsessed much? whatever though, they're worth it. sometimes i feel like they're my own kids cos i'm with them so much :D

anyway, my right foot is currently very swollen due to multiple mosquito bites around my ankle. there are so many and they're so swollen that they actually HURT! ugh. i don't even know what to do to make it feel better.

enough of the randomness. church tomorrow and i can't exactly wake up at 11ish again.
til next time, have a good night :)